How to get shot in the head

Hi everyone! Life getting you down? Looking to say farewell to this cruel world?

Well step right up! You'll find that your friendly neighbourhood policeman will be more than happy to send you shuffling off this mortal coil,

Just follow these simple guidelines issued by the International Association of Chiefs of Police, which represents the heads of police departments across the world, and you too can be mistaken for a suicide bomber and be summarily executed by being shot eight times in the head!

Too much of a hurry to get to the hereafter to click on the links, or too depressed and apathetic to summon the willpower to do so? Never fear! Let Translate All Monsters summarise for you!

All you need to do is as much of the following as possible:

1. Wear a coat or heavy jacket in warm weather.
2. Carry a rucksack or briefcase, preferably with wires or other things sticking out of it. Wearing a iPod or equivalent will probably sort you out.
   
3. Look "nervous" and avoid eye-contact. Shouldn't be too difficult in your current mental state, hey? :-)
4. Have chemical burns or stains on your clothing or hands (I suspect not washing your hands for a while will probably do it)
5. Pace back and forth.
   
6. Mumble under your breath something that might, or might not be prayers.

And then just wait for a local member of law enforcement to come along and take away all your troubles and woes forever, by shooting multiple high-caliber bullets into your brain!

There you go! Enjoy! Suicide by cop, your way!

What's that? You're actually concerned that these half-arsed guidelines will do nothing but ensure that more and more innocents get shot by mistake?

Surely not.

:-(